Say WHAT?: Ke$ha

Ke$ha must like fighting. After all, just about every song on her debut album mentions she'll be 'fighting' something or the other. Well, put yer gloves up, Say WHAT? is coming after you this week!

I have to confess I sort of do like 'TiK ToK'. It is catchy in the chorus, and the verse is so irritating that it gets stuck in your head. But it's got atrocious lyrics, and an even stupider video. I even went though Animal, her album for this column and this much is true - it's not more of the same. It's the dirtiest, most inane and hopeless record I've had the displeasure of dipping my ears into. Seriously. I had headaches worse than the first time I listened to metal. Which was bad.

Ke$ha comes across as a Millionaires-lite, in that she doesn't quite reach the depravity of the aforementioned group, but she definitely comes very very close. After all, we're talking about a girl who knows how to write about 2 things.

1. Getting wasted.

2. Getting laid while getting wasted.

Yep. That pretty much sums it up. Well, to the meat of the matter! Here are some sample lyrics from selected tracks.

'Dinosaur'

Not long til' you're a senior citizen

And you can strut around with that sexy tank of oxygen

Honey your toupee is fallin' to your left side

Get up and go bro! 

Oh wait your fossilized HA! 

Then you offered me a martini

Walk away with your hips with in sinking

Then you say, Honey wanna come with me

I'm about to barf seriously

Well, I don't like old lechers as much as the next person (especially those who prey on KTV lounges), but still? An entire song devoted to the sugar daddy you were happy to keep around as long as the drinks came your way? Ke$ha, you definitely need one since you "don't have no money in my pocket but I'm already here!" And seriously, the lyrics. Oh God the lyrics. Combined with the music that Ke$ha uses, I'm gonna crown her the White Trash Lady Gaga. 

'Party At A Rich Guy's House'

Swimming pool limousines (come on let's do it)

Come on let's cause a scene (come on let's do it)

Cigar in the caviar (come on let's do it)

I'm pissin' in the Dom Pérignon (come on let's do it)

Now, come on lets do it

We're gonna do it now

Come on let's do it

Come on let's do this

GOOD GRIEF. Every liquor lover in the world should come after her. PISSING IN THE DOM PERIGNON?????? WHY??? Never mind that this is a song about a party at a rich person's house. I'm finding it really hard to be sarcastic about Ke$ha and her lyrics because reading them alone eliminates the need for me to explain WHY these lyrics are bad.

Seriously.

'Blah Blah Blah'

Boy come on get your rocks off

Come put a little love in my glove box

I wanna dance with no pants on

Meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox

So cut to the chase kid

'Cause I know you don't care what my middle name is

I wanna be naked

But you're wasted

I have officially lost hope in all humanity.

I'm going to go jump out of the office building now.

So long. 

Goodbye cruel world.

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Thought I jumped, didn't you?

Well, to sum things up, I'll leave you with this awesome, awesome video parody of 'TiK ToK'. Enjoy.